Do You Have Good Friends?

Friends are a gift of God. If we have good friends, we should assume that God has showered us with His unlimited grace. What does a good friend mean? What are the differences between ordinary friends and good friends? What is friendship?

Let us begin our enquiry by asking about what is friendship? Can it be defined? What is the relationship of friendship? What qualities does this relationship have? When two persons share common interests, care for each other, enjoy being together and help each other, they are called as friends. Is this a correct definition? It broadly covers the areas of friendship.

For being a good friend, we should share more of these qualities. Is that right? Say, you share some interests with your friend, and there are few things that interest you, but are of no interest to your friend. Does this make your friendship ordinary? Sit back and count your good friends. Now count the interests that you share and those that you don't. Is there any mathematical formula? Can one be a good friend, even if one shares very few interests? Provided of course, that our qualities that I mentioned above are in plenty?

What about caring for each other? Many a times, we find that friends are careless in their relationship, but when it comes to crunch situations, they come forward with all their might and show tremendous care. Does this imply, that even if a friend is not much caring on a day-to-day basis, he/she can still be a good friend, if there is a strong affinity that brings them together?

Let us talk of enjoying each other's company. Does this mean that good friends avoid others? Are they always found together? What if they don't meet each other for a month? This relationship is indefinable. Isn't it? Because being a good friend of someone may mean that we care for each other deeply, but need not show it always. We are ready to help whenever the need arises. That even if we are not together all the time, we love being together. We defend each other whenever any external threat arises. The last test is the final test of good friendship. Friends may remain away for a long period and continue with their life, but when the need arises, they are together. They share a bond that ties them together. They have shared so much with each other that the past always carries itself in the future.

Friendship means that we like each other. We have shared some great moments together. We value and respect each other. Unless there is a bond of hearts and emotions, no outward sign can make a friendship good.

Mohatta is a content writer for egreetings. He loves writing content for eCards on friendships. Some of his writings are in the categories of eCards-Thinking Of You, and eCards - Good Day

What to Do When It Seems That People Don't Like You

Have you been trying hard to make friends with no good results to show for all of your efforts?

If it seems that you have been trying hard to make friends, but that other people still don't want to be your friend, you may have come to the conclusion that there's something wrong with you. That maybe you are basically unlikeable.

Many of us go through such torment of self doubt, especially during our teenage years, when teens are often the victims of vicious bullying from their peers for no reason at all.

If you feel as if the people you are trying to befriend don’t like you, the first thing you must do is to ask yourself: Do you have any real evidence that others don't like you?

Or are you just imagining the worst because you are always very harsh with yourself?

People who have low self-esteem, or who are suffering from depression, are often convinced that others don't like them, even when there is no evidence for their negative belief. People who have a poor self image can be surrounded by others who like them, care about them, and enjoy their company; yet because these people don't believe they are worthy of being liked, they are convinced that no one else likes them either.

So, if you are feeling as if nobody likes you, try to find out if there is some real evidence that others don't like you, or whether you are just being very negative in your opinion of yourself.

On the other hand, there are times when it's not just your imagination that others don’t like you. It might be really true that most of the people you meet are consistently rejecting you, even when you make social overtures and try to be as friendly to them as possible.

There are many reasons this can happen.

You may have moved to a society where the people are very tight knit with each other, and they don't open up to newcomers easily.

You might be surrounded by people who automatically dislike people of your particular religion, ethnic background, sexual orientation, skin color, or bodily appearance.

You may be surrounded by people who reject you because the clothes you wear are not the latest and most expensive fashion.

In high school years in particular, many teens are strongly conformist, and can be very cruel to those who seem to be different from the norm. Sadly, some people never grow out of the stage of judging others for trivial and superficial reasons.

If you are really are being rejected by others, it is important that you don’t make the situation worse by attacking yourself.

This will only make you feel worse, and will make you lose confidence in approaching new people in the future.

Saying negative things to yourself could start you on a downward spiral of self-doubt and self-hatred. Or you might turn your anger outwards in a spirit of bitterness and revenge towards other people. This is not a solution that will win you friends or peace of mind.

It's also important to take a good, hard look at yourself and the way that you interact with other people. There may be specific behaviors that are causing others to dislike you, and these are behaviors which you can change.

Ask yourself the questions on this checklist. If it looks as if any of these behaviors are a problem for you, it's very likely that if you change this behavior, that other people will like you better.

1. Are you always very negative and complaining all the time? Most people find this habit very annoying.

2. Do you actively participate in conversations with others? Or do you hold back and let other people do all the work in making conversation. If so, learn to improve your conversational skills so that talking with you is an experience that others look forward to.

3. Do you endlessly talk about yourself and show little interest in the people you are talking with? Other people will become bored with you very quickly if you seem only interested in yourself.

4. Do you try too hard to please others, always agreeing with everything that they say, and never having any opinions of your own? People won't respect you if you don't respect yourself.

5. Do you often say things that hurt the feelings of others and then say it was just a joke? Do you say mean things behind other people's backs? No one will trust you if they think that you are basically an unkind person.

If you want to make other people your friends, it's very important that you don't give up. Keep approaching people, keep trying to make conversation. Get rid of your bad social habits if they are getting in the way of friendship.

If you are being given the cold shoulder by many of the people you encounter, particularly in your school or workplace, keep looking elsewhere for people you can confide in and befriend. You can try in your church, in your community, and in your own family.

Work on developing the talents and good qualities within yourself so that you can appeal in a new way to other people with whom you will have more in common. Continue to actively search out other people who will like you and accept you.

This article was written by friendship expert Royane Real. Do you want to get tips on how to use conversation to turn more people into friends? Get her special report "Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation" at http://www.lulu.com/real

The 10 Most Common Publicity Mistakes -- Don't Sabotage Your Success!

The number one rule of being successful in the world of publicity (or in just about any other field, for that matter): Don’t sabotage your efforts with dumb -- and easily correctable -- mistakes. Here then are the dumb things that publicity seekers do. Avoid them, and you’ll be well on your way to scoring great coverage!

1. Thinking Like an Advertiser

The more you remind a reporter that you’re a commercial entity seeking promotional exposure, the less chance you have. Blatant ad copy, excessive use of trademark symbols, overblown quotes, puffed-up claims and other techniques better suited for advertising copy are sure ways to assure that your release gets trashed. You must think like an objective journalist and have a sense of perspective about who you are and what you sell, and communicate that in your materials. If you just can’t do that, chances are you’ve been...

2. Getting Too Close to Your Product

If you spend all day eating, breathing and sleeping packing tape, it’s easy to start believing that the slight change you made in the thickness of your company’s new packing tape is an advance on par with the printing press and the polio vaccine. Now, if you’re planning on working with Packing Tape Monthly, perhaps the editors of that fine publication will agree. But the guys down at USA Today may hold a different opinion. In deciding (a) what’s newsworthy and (b) how to present this news to the media, it’s vital that you take many steps back and view your company as a marginally interested outsider might. If you can’t do that, ask friends, family and other outsiders to help.

3. Getting too Close to a Journalist

I’ve worked with lots of reporters whose company I enjoyed. I’ve shared meals and drinks with a bunch of them. One thing I’ve never done, however, is forget who they are and what their jobs are. If a reporter is interviewing you, whether in person or on the phone, never say anything you wouldn’t want to appear in a story. Journalists have different interpretations of what "off the record" means, and it’s foolish to try to test those limits. Carefully think about everything you say, don’t be pressured into commenting on things you don’t feel comfortable about, stay on message, don’t gossip, backbite or share secrets. In short, just as the journalist has his or her job to do, so too do you. Stay smart.

4. Obsessing Over the Big Hits

Maybe you really will get on Oprah. And maybe you’ll win the lottery and never have to work again. In either case, it’s probably a good idea to have some backup plan in place in case you don’t beat out the 10 million or so other folks who harbor the same dreams.

It’s fine to think big, but smart publicity seekers know that time spent getting actual press coverage is a better investment than chasing dreams. So go ahead and send that press kit to Oprah but, in the meantime, work your butt off to get placement in weekly papers, syndicates, e-zines, local radio and other less glamorous places. Scores of successful businesses have been built on such "small" publicity. You don’t need Oprah or Newsweek or the Today show. You need coverage - anywhere and anyway you can get it. Dreamers dream. Publicists get publicity.

5. Reading from a Script

It’s pretty annoying to pick up the phone at dinner time only to have some guy reading a script about how great vinyl siding is. Now imagine how a journalist, who’s busy working on deadline, feels about "publicists" calling up to do the same thing again and again. If you’re planning to phone pitch a journalist, never read from a script or repeat a rehearsed spiel. She’s a human being, so talk to her that way. (And always start your call with "Is this a good time to talk?". Never just launch into your pitch.)

6. Using Outdated Media Lists

News flash: Look magazine is out of business. So too are about half of the new magazines launched in the past decade, for that matter. Your media list is the lifeblood of your publicity seeking efforts. Take the time to keep it fresh and up to date, or you’ll be wasting your time. Invest in Bacon’s media guide (www.bacons.com), visit websites of publications that interest you, visit your local library or bookstore's magazine rack. Do a little homework and you’ll get a big edge.

7. Not Understanding Timing

A non-savvy publicity seeker would ask, "Why do a story about Christmas publicity in June?" A smart publicity seeker understands completely. It’s all in the timing. If you’re not thinking months ahead, then it’s probably too late. In early summer, you should be working on "back to school" releases for newspapers and other short-leads (it’s already too late for long- lead magazines). Have something to offer for Thanksgiving? Start planning now. Learn the lead times for various publications, plan out a yearly schedule. Plan ahead. Plan ahead. Plan ahead.

8. Not Being Accessible

If a journalist wants to use your release, he may call to get some more information, get some clarification or even to see if you actually exist. If he gets voice-mail (or a busy signal) and doesn’t hear back from you, you’ve probably blown it. On your releases and pitch letters, include the most accessible phone number you have (your cell phone, perhaps, if you’re on the road a lot) and an e-mail address you check throughout the day. If you miss a call from a journalist, or receive an e-mail, get back to him immediately. Don’t put it off -- he could be on deadline and have calls in to your competitors.

9. Not Telling the Truth

There may be worse people to lie to than journalists -- detectives, IRS agents, the guy who’s administering your lie detector test -- but not many. Think about it folks: these men and women are trained to discover the truth. They know how to do research and how to talk to others in your fields to determine whether or not you’re being truthful. So don’t take any chances. Don’t even think about inflating your sales numbers, or making up a story, or pitching something that’s mostly BS. Not only will they figure it out, your attempts to bamboozle them may even make it into the press.

10. Being Sloppy

Typos, bad printing, hideous press kit covers, poorly shot photos, improperly formatted press releases...these are the signs of an amateur. Amateurs don’t get coverage. Before you send out anything, proof it. Then proof it again. Then give it to someone else to proof. Then proof it again

Bill Stoller, the "Publicity Insider", has spent two decades as one of America's top publicists. Now, through his website, eZine and subscription newsletter, Free Publicity: The Newsletter for PR-Hungry Businesses http://www.PublicityInsider.com/freepub.asp, he's sharing -- for the very first time -- his secrets of scoring big publicity. For free articles, killer publicity tips and much, much more, visit Bill's exclusive new site: http://www.publicityInsider.com